Qualcomm’s Snapdragon X Elite branding reads like Elon Musk baby names
Qualcomm is now breaking down exactly how fast each of its new Snapdragon X Elite and Plus Arm processors are…but with a list of chips and a product number decoder that is virtually impenetrable to read, let alone say.
Now it’s Qualcomm’s turn. And boy, is it a doozy. (Qualcomm also released a list of the four Snapdragon X Elite and Plus processors, complete with names and clock speeds — which it hasn’t done before. Unfortunately, before we list those, we have to explain what the names and numbers mean. We apologize in advance. Take note of the similarity to the name of Elon Musk and singer Grimes’ child: X Æ A-12.)
How to talk about the Snapdragon X Series to your teens
Let’s face it: The Snapdragon X1E-78-100 will never be mentioned in polite society. It will not appear in a sonnet, or in a card you send to your spouse for your anniversary. If it is ever mentioned that evening, it will be in anger, with one of you sulking off with the half-finished bottle of chardonnay. These are “names” that practically demand to be opened inside a PDF, or on a mimeographed requisition form that requires seven signatures, some in triplicate. Somewhere, a military supply sergeant’s eyes are lighting up.
Keep in mind that Qualcomm has two brands (the X Elite and the Plus) and four total chips. This naming scheme has room for…how many, exactly? The Bible has less complexity than this.