Being rejected is never fun—or is it? Most of us spend our lives trying to wipe these embarrassing moments from memory, however, on TikTok a recent trend sees people actively seeking out opportunities to get shot down, then filming and uploading the awkward encounter for millions to see.
In one video, someone asks a barista for free coffee, just because. Another asks a stranger for a hug, while another goes up to a builder and asks to wear his hat. One woman puts her phone down in the street and simply starts dancing, why? Why not.
@yaz.johnsonn Rejection Therapy day 01: Asking to make my own coffee in a cafe. Apologies for how awkward and nervous I look in that first clip, I’ve given myself the ick too dw 😄😄 But shout out to Charlotte for letting me get behind the counter and showing me just how intricate and difficult the process of making a good coffee is. You follow a recipe with precise weights, temperatures and times to ensure the perfect brew each time. I won’t even talk about how hard latte art is, the photos speak for themselves #rejectiontherapy #rejectiontherapychallenge #rejection #makingcoffee #latteart #oatlatte
♬ deeply still in loveeee – tucker
These creators claim to be practicing “rejection therapy”, a self-help concept that has recently gained traction on social media with over 72 million posts on TikTok. Rejection is a part of life and rejection therapy is thought to be inspired by motivational speaker Jia Jiang’s viral 100 Days of Rejection video series.
However, according to Rebecca Zeleny, a therapy manager at Headspace, rejection therapy should not be conflated with established therapeutic modalities such as cognitive behavioral therapy or exposure therapy, both of which are supported by extensive research. “Instead, rejection therapy can be understood as a conceptual exercise designed to encourage individuals to intentionally seek rejection through interactions with strangers, often by posing outlandish questions,” she says. “The goal of this exercise is to foster resilience and reduce the emotional impact of rejection.”
Fear of rejection often limits our choices—whether it’s missing out on a date with someone special or hesitating to apply for a dream job. But according to Zeleny, the popularity of this trend is likely fueled more by viral appeal than real therapeutic value. “It fails to be a true representation of many of the rejections we experience, such as those from family, friends, or colleagues,” she says. “These more personal rejections have a far greater emotional impact than the act of seeking rejection from strangers.”
While these small acts of bravery aren’t a substitute for professional mental health care, next time you’re buying a coffee, why not ask for it for free? The worst that can happen is they say no.
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