If you ever need a reminder of your own cosmic insignificance, just try to get some actual human tech support for Facebook or Instagram.
For years, no such thing existed. You are an ant to a big tech company like Meta, so if you need to hash out a specific problem—like, say, your account getting hacked and subsequently suspended—the best you could do was fill out an appeal and hope for some divine intervention.
Out of this mass frustration, Meta saw a business opportunity: In early 2023, it launched Meta Verified, a $12 per month subscription that allowed anyone to separate themselves from the hoi polloi. Subscribers get a blue verification badge, extra protection against impersonators, a vague promise of increased “visibility” in Meta’s ranking algorithms, and access to real, human support.
But while that last perk might sound like salvation for anyone with intractable account access issues, I’ve found it to be the opposite. Having subscribed to Meta Verified for three months, I am now $36 poorer and no closer to getting my account back. As many other folks have found out, Meta Verified’s paid support is often just a waste of time and money, and its support reps are powerless to solve any significant account-related problems.
Locked out
In February, I logged into my Facebook account to find it suspended, with a short message citing unnamed policy violations on a connected Instagram account whose name was just a jumble of letters and numbers.
As far as I knew, I hadn’t done anything wrong. My Facebook and Instagram accounts had both been tied to my usual email address, protected by unique passwords, and set up with two-factor authentication. It’s unclear to me how a rogue Instagram account would insert itself into the mix. (My only guess is that something went amiss while connecting Facebook Messenger to Beeper, the universal messaging app that was acquired by WordPress.com owner Automattic last month, but may never know for sure.)
Meta’s labyrinthine system of help documents and appeals forms apparently cannot account for this scenario. Facebook’s website suggested filing an appeal through Instagram, but because the two accounts were no longer connected, Instagram’s own appeal process couldn’t help.
At this point I figured that $12 was a reasonable fee to have a human sort this all out. If I subscribed to Meta Verified and explained my situation, surely Instagram’s tech support reps would know what to do. Instead, all I got was a string of false promises and bad information.
Mixed messages
My first interaction with Meta Verified support seemed to go well. “Bernadette” suggested switching from online chat to a phone call, where she assured me that this type of security breach was common. She would add me to a queue of accounts for Facebook’s “technical team” to examine, and while she offered no timeframe, she said to expect a follow-up via email.
After a month with no follow-up, I reached out to Meta Verified support again. The second rep, “Min,” asked me for the exact same information that Bernadette had, including my name, email, Facebook username, and a screenshot of my suspension. I was given a separate reference number, but the same resolution.
“We kindly asking for your patience as our team engage [sic] in your issue,” Min wrote. “Any update from our internal team here will be go [sic] to your email here Jared.”
Frustrated, I started a new chat and asked to speak with the rep over the phone. I collected yet another reference number, and had a conversation with “Theresa,” who strangely suggested filling out Facebook’s Privacy Policy Questions form with a full description of my problem. I expressed doubts, but the rep was confident that filling out this completely unrelated form would set everything right.
Unsurprisingly, it did not. The next day, I received a canned response noting that “we can’t support this type of request through this channel.”
Back to Meta Verified support I went. I collected a fourth reference number, provided yet another screenshot of my suspension, and was told once again to expect a follow-up after Facebook’s “internal team” reviewed the matter.
That’s when I finally got an answer, via two separate emails:
- “After a thorough review, we have identified that there is no connection between the Meta Verified profile and the Facebook profile you are requesting for support.”
- “After thorough investigation and assessment of the situation, we regret to inform you that the disabling of your account is unfortunately irreversible. We have taken necessary measures to secure and protect your account from further unauthorized access.”
Neither email provided any useful information, so I decided to go back to Meta Verified one more time. Despite being supplied with five separate reference numbers, “Cardo” seemed unable to look up any information without me providing yet another description of what went wrong. He then suggested filling out yet another form (“Report a Login Issue“), which only produced a message saying “You’re Temporarily Blocked.”
At this point, I realized all my efforts were proving futile, so I asked to cancel my subscription. And that’s about when I lost it.
Instead of cancelling, Cardo instructed me to log into Facebook’s website to complete the process. The fact that I couldn’t access my Facebook account—that is, the entire point of the conversation—did not seem to register.
Starting over
All of this would be a bigger deal if I actually depended on Facebook for anything. If I had the inclination, maybe I’d reach out to my attorney general with a complaint, as some users claim to have done successfully.
But I’ve already sunk enough time and money into this endeavor, and I can’t think of much on Facebook that really needed saving. I was never active participant and can’t think of any photos or memories that couldn’t be found elsewhere. I occasionally participated in a couple of groups, and had an admittedly neglected page for my tech writing, but I’ll get on without them. My Instagram and Threads accounts live on, and maybe at some point I’ll build up another Facebook page under a separate email address.
Meanwhile, I found the Meta Verified cancellation page on my own and ended the subscription just by clicking some buttons. There was no human interaction required—just the way Meta likes it.
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